diResta Paul di Resta
While I congratulate Lewis on his honour, as a future hall-of-famer my hope is that F1 is an Olympic event before I retire. While I may be cruelly denied the time to match the medal tally of fellow legend Sir Steve Redgrave, at least adding an Olympic gold to my startling list of over-achievements would further cement my place in the pantheon of sporting superstars.
johnny Johnny Herbert
You flower-scented flock of nappy-wearing fancy-dans. The Olympics is for lazy nonces who can only run 100m. Back in the day 9.58 seconds was the time it took a blond bastard called Johnny Herbert to pull a bird, and the only excuse for ending an F1 qualifying session was an earthquake.
whiting Charlie Whiting
This sounds both innovative and non-homogeneous Michael, so we'll probably have to ban it. I believe I can justify this by declaring that the driver is operating a system which modifies the direction of the front tyres, thereby affecting airflow over the car. This infringes Article 3.15 of the regulations as it falls under "moveable aerodynamic device".