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Bernie's Latest Posts
Bernie   Bernie Ecclestone
@fernando Call a bloody spade a spade Fernando, it's all a joke isn't it. Who cares about yellow lights and some ponce waving a flag at the side of the track, I told them to get a few decent looking Brazilian birds in those bikini things to be marshalls, and then we'd have had proper slow-motion footage of them.
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Bernie   Bernie Ecclestone
@Montezuma Stop prattling on Luca, you're old enough to get a bloody bus pass yourself. Anyway, as the saying goes, you're only as old as the woman you feel, so really Uncle Bernie is only 35, plenty of life in the old dog.
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Bernie   Bernie Ecclestone
I don't know what we're going to do when you're gone Michael, all we're left with is a bunch of spoiled brats isn't it. That young lad Vettel is a good sport for a game of backgammon, but he's got the charisma of a paper bag. He needs to get some muck on him doesn't he, maybe a sex scandal or drive into Fernando to win the title, get a few proper headlines.
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Bernie   Bernie Ecclestone
@fernando Don't be a bloody prude Fernando, Max was just mucking about with a few young sorts, good on him if you ask me. I don't know what the bloody old fool was doing with all that prison gear though, in my day you took your trousers off and got on with it. Anyway, the teams are a bloody nuisance, we could do with a good old-fashioned dictator, like Ad....
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Bernie   Bernie Ecclestone
@fernando If that sod had kept schtum Fernando he would have been quids in. All I did was slip him a few notes to keep the tax-man away. Right pain in the arse being up before the beak. Anyway, you're one to bloody talk about getting away with it after that Singapore thing.
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Bernie   Bernie Ecclestone
These lads have gone a bit soft in head haven't they, all this psycho babble stuff is a waste of time, and worse, money. What these over-sensitive ponces really need is a good kick up the arse, sort them out in no time.
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Bernie   Bernie Ecclestone
@todt Now Jean, best to keep Ferrari sweet isn't it. Uncle Bernie has a special understanding with Maranello. I just ask them what they want and stuff the other teams really. Worst case, we could always run a grid full of Ferrari's, get rid of those bloody twats at Red Bull for a start.
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Bernie   Bernie Ecclestone
@todt No worries Jean, storm in a teacup. Politicians are worse than racing drivers, can't trust them to keep their gobs shut. Anyway, this lad, David Davis, silly bloody name isn't really, who'd trust a word out of his mouth?
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Bernie   Bernie Ecclestone
@mschumi Oh that Labour thing. I threw Tony Blair a few quid back in 1997 to get us out of the smoking-ad ban. Then the idiot gave it back to me, bit of an uptight plonker him. I don't know why I bother really. He should have taken up the ciggies himself, might relax him a bit, and I could have done him a good deal with Marlb...
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Bernie   Bernie Ecclestone
@mschumi Those Tories are all private school ponces, posers the lot of them. Couldn't go back to Blair so I had to go Conservative. Anyway I thought Max would have fit in with that lot, Tory MPs always liked a good sex scandal didn't they.
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Bernie   Bernie Ecclestone
@mschumi Actually Fernando, Mosley's old man had the right idea didn't he. All this democracy is a waste of time, stupid to give every Joe Soap an equal say. Imagine the state F1 would be in if I listened to anyone. Get back a few dictators, like A....
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Bernie   Bernie Ecclestone
@fernando They're right Fernando, don't overestimate Joe Soap. We have lots of different winners alright but they're all bloody blokes aren't they, not exactly going to draw the punters in. I was thinking of having theme weekends. I'll get you lot to qualify the cars and then ship a few birds in to drive on Sunday. Maybe have a load of beach-volleyball players race one weekend, hire a few tasty young models the next, like Cindy Crawford. Lovely jubbly.
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Bernie   Bernie Ecclestone
@mschumi Bloody pain in the arse getting this publised isn't it Michael, you don't want the old Tax Man getting his knickers in a twist about how much you earn. Christ, the missus knowing is worse, gets messy come divorce time. Uncle Bernie usually declares the small change and stashes the rest out of sight. That's something I learned from the old dictators, like...
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Bernie   Bernie Ecclestone
@NigelErnestJamesMansellOBE You might be on to something there lads, it's about time those old fellas started giving something back to the sport, all they do these days is get paid to spout their mouths off on the telly. We should be doing a senior tour like the golf lads, we don't even have to buy any new trophies, just throw a jacket on the winner.
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Bernie   Bernie Ecclestone
@jackie Can't be that hard Jackie, it's just a car isn't it, 3 pedals, a steering wheel and a handbrake. You see fellas older than me driving to the shops every day, and then you have these 60 year old whipper-snappers complaining about their bloody necks. Tells you the state of the world today really, doesn't it.
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Bernie   Bernie Ecclestone
@fernando Well Fernando, she's as good in court as she looks out of it so that's enough for me, and she has a brain too which helps, handy to have a legal sounding board for some of my tax schemes. Anyway there's no time to be wasting at my age, I might only have another twenty or thirty years left.
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Bernie   Bernie Ecclestone
@fernando She's bloody lucky to have me Fernando, I find taller women more practical anyway. All these spotty teenagers that work in the local supermarket stack things too high for me, louts should be out doing real work. Anyway, a tall missus can get them for me, and the view isn't too bad for old Bernie while she's at it. Win win.
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Bernie   Bernie Ecclestone
@fernando What disaster was that Fernando? No such thing as bad publicity is there, anything that gets us on the news a bit more, the racing is hardly going to do it. The crown prince gave us the nod so it was all kosher. As far as I'm concerned we will be going back to Bahrain for GPs forever.
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Bernie   Bernie Ecclestone
@fernando It was a bit of a storm in a teacup really wasn't it Fernando, handbag stuff, I'm sure they'll sort out their little squabble by the time we're back next year. As for those new street races, as long as those governments are happy I'm all for it, provided they can pay me the race fee that is.
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Bernie   Bernie Ecclestone
@fernando Nobody gives a toss about who is coming 8th or whatever Fernando, if they had introduced my gold medal system we'd be better off. Anyway Force India had a bloody drinks logo on the car so that is why they weren't shown, common sense to take that off I'd say, like McLaren did.
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