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Horner's Latest Posts
Horner   Christian Horner
@fernando Well Fernando,Mark has always been a great team player, as exemplified in this latest selfless act where he has rightly ended his own career so we can devote time solely to Seb. One comment I would make is that while being impromptu is a very "Red Bull" thing to do, I am disappointed Mark only gave me 5 minutes notice of his decision.
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Horner   Christian Horner
@fernando Adrian and I have analysed that comment, and given Mark has essentially been using 2009-spec machinery to save resources, we too find it odd he would be concerned about current or future regulations. Naturally out of respect for our driver, his future well-being is foremost in our mind, so we will indeed allow perfect Seb to choose somebody to support him next year.
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Horner   Christian Horner
@wibbah The team does owe you an apology in this case Mark, as you may have misunderstood "Multi 21". Given we are running the sister Red Bull on older spec parts due to the Resource Restriction Agreement, it has emerged you were also provided with out-of-date team protocol codes. The re-defined Multi 21 refers to any switch of either equipment or position from the 2 car to the 1 car (perfect Seb), dating back to a wing re-allocation at Silverstone in 2010.
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Horner   Christian Horner
@fernando Well Fernando, it was pure relief that we scored the 25 points. I'd like to clarify that I merely meant Seb was being silly in taking risks passing for the lead while Adrian was in the process of remotely reducing power to the sister car to allow a more "natural" position reversal. We will deal with Seb internally, and since he could not enjoy the win on Sunday, we will be sure to hold a typical impromptu Red Bull private celebration for him before China.
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Horner   Christian Horner
@wibbah On reflection, Adrian and I have to take public opinion into account and that of the F1 community. Therefore, in the circumstances, we will be launching disciplinary proceedings against our driver. It has come to light that the sister Red Bull swerved towards Seb after the chequered flag, and an extended middle finger was directed at the lead car. The only finger I want to see waving from a Red Bull is that of perfect Seb after another win!
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Horner   Christian Horner
@wibbah While humour in the face of adversity is a very Red Bull trait Seb, this is no laughing matter. But for the grace of god, we could easily have fitted the ECU from the sister car on your one, and ruined our race. After Alternator-gate this is yet another sinister attempt by outsiders to undermine our dominance.
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Horner   Christian Horner
@MycLaren Of more immediate concern after practice in Malaysia is that Pirelli have joined in conspiring against us in designing tyres specifically unsuited to our car. Adrian and I have discussed it and we may re-allocate sets from the sister car in Sepang so that Hungry Heidi will survive the race.
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Horner   Christian Horner
While Bernie may consider this affair to be a joke, we at Red Bull, despite our reputation as spontaneous fun-loving party animals, believe it is no laughing matter. Indeed had Helmut not contracted some locals to man strategic marshall posts we could have lost the title, and Seb would not have been waving those three fingers for me!
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Horner   Christian Horner
@sbstnvtl Relax perfect Seb,as regards the dirty tricks we are investigating a number of issues surrounding the Brazil race. Firstly, Adrian was studying unusual clouds at Interlagos and believes our rivals may have used some kind of Weather Warfare technology to cause the rain. Also, given the overtake controversy involved a Toro Rosso, we surmise that the sabotage that spread from the sister car to the sister team has now escalated.
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Horner   Christian Horner
@wibbah Actually, if Seb had received a post-race penalty, any cars ahead of him in Brazil would have contributed to his title loss. Adrian and I were considering an appeal to the FIA to have car number 2, driven by competitor Mark Webber, disqualified on the basis that it was running a 2010 specification front wing under 2012 regulations.
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Horner   Christian Horner
@sbstnvtl Calm down Seb, Adrian and I have discussed it and we are investigating the possibility that Karthikeyan was working on orders from our enemies. We still have to believe that the seven points this latest conspiracy cost us will not be significant. You won the Constructor's Title for us again. Faaaaantastic!
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Horner   Christian Horner
@wibbah As the official FIA results show Mark, only one Red Bull scored points in Austin. Also, if perfect Seb did not have two non-finishes earlier in the season through no fault of his own, he would almost have enough points to win the Constructors outright himself. Furthermore we believe that points were denied Seb this season by the sister car, at Monaco for example. In fact Mark, you could say you almost cost us the constructor's title.
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Horner   Christian Horner
@wibbah Rest assured Mark, as your rolling contract means our relationship will endure one more season, you are a valued support to Seb. On that point, Adrian actually spotted a potential fault with Seb's alternator just by looking at it on Sunday, so luckily we were able to swap a healthy alternator from the sister car before the race. Sadly, our strict adherence to the Resource Restriction Agreement precluded us from unpacking a spare alternator for the second Red Bull.
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Horner   Christian Horner
@sbstnvtl You are phenemonal Seb! Even starting from the pitlane as a result of another FIA conspiracy to end our dominance didn't stop you. Adrian and I have discussed it and we are trying to find out which of our rivals surreptitiously removed fuel from your car after qualifying.
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Horner   Christian Horner
@sbstnvtl We were fortunate that Adrian was able to remotely control the sister Red Bull to create an incident to bring out the final safety car for you Seb. Most alarmingly, while we have been repeatedly frustrated by interference in perfect Seb's title challenge from an Australian driving the sister car, we now have a problem with an Australian driving for the sister team. On this basis we are currently investigating any Webber-Ricciardo-FIA links to the campaign to destroy us.
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Horner   Christian Horner
@mschumi Adrian's goggles was an impromptu joke and a very "Red Bull" thing to do, and it is purely coincidence that Helmut caught them when Adrian spontaneously threw them into the crowd. On a serious note, we do believe that the girl on the podium was a spy from a rival team trying to destabilise perfect Seb. The same conspirators are spreading these Ferrari rumours. Additionally we will speak to the FIA about a timing irregularity which meant a slower car qualified ahead of Seb in Korea and could have compromised his race.
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Horner   Christian Horner
@wibbah Mark, apart from the fact that your one year rolling contract expires in 2013, promoting you to number one status would present Red Bull with a number of logistical difficulties. Due to our strict adherence to the Resource Restriction Agreement we have had to run the sister car on recycled, older-spec parts. Therefore we would need to familiarise you with contemporary F1 equipment. I spoke to Adrian and he graciously said we will upgrade your car with the Silverstone-2010-spec front-wing in the next GP to see how you cope. Anyway I hope perfect Seb will still be waving that finger for me in 2014!
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Horner   Christian Horner
Well done Seb, faaantaastic, you've won the Korean Grand Prix! Great drive, well done! Brilliant job, brilliant job.
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Horner   Christian Horner
@fernando I believe Mark's co-operation in the first corner was unintentional Fernando, but nevertheless we should thank him for preventing a potentially awkward team-order situation later in the race.
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Horner   Christian Horner
@fernando Fernando, you have highlighted a serious issue. Despite frantic gesticulations from perfect Seb in the wet qualy session, he was held up significantly by the sister Red Bull, losing any chance of pole and in effect of winning the race. The results of an urgent internal inquiry means we will consider having the sister car sit out qualy if such conditions present themselves in future.
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