@fernando Conscientious employee my gin-soaked arse. Too right I got pissed, took me a case of Johnny Walker to remember Max's number. I'll crack your noggin with your laptop if you stab me in the back again.

@hammy You bloody canary Alonso, it took me seven bottles of Blue Nun to calm down enough to ring the FIA.

@fernando They're mine all mine. Third place gongs are for beer, Second place cups are for Johnnie Walker, and the Winning Trophies see nothing less than Blue Nun. The last time a trophy got away was when Alain threw one to the crowd in '89 to piss me off, he's still buying me brandy to make up for it.

@hammy Bl..oody wasting good alcohol Lewis, and a Blue Nun would have done the trick instead of champagne. Remember Fernando, the last thing we learn is how to die.

@Bernie Who took the Johnny Walker branding off the cars? Christ, if that jeopardises my free personal supply I'm going to nut someone.

@Pastor Especially that little Coughlan shit, he brings plenty ideas from team to team... they're not bloody fresh ones though.

@fernando Your loyalty was about as deep as the puddle outside my motorhome you little shit. Your conscience won't be the only bloody thing burning if I get my hands on you.

@fernando You bloody runt, I spilled a good glass of plonk when you came in with that Coughlan stuff.

@fernando Funny that you snitch, you were quiet as a mouse when the Piquet thing came out.

@TrulyJarno Ship us over a few more cases of that plonk pronto there Jarno, half a bottle of that red sauce and I'm ready to face the day.

Christ, they get Coughlan and we get Michael... what the hell is going on, a bloody prisoner swap?

@hammy Not so fast with the forgiveness Hamilton, that wasn't the worst bloody thing the prick did that weekend.

@fernando Five-place bloody grid penalty... if it was me I would have bottled you with that fine Hungarian vino I was guzzling.

@fernando I'll put you and your bloody laptop through a thick wall if you come over here you little runt.

@fernando You and your bloody emails, you're like Monica Lewinsky with her bloody dress.

@Kobayashi Plenty of spirits will do the trick Kamui, a couple of cases of Johnny Walker will erase weeks from your memory.

@hammy I may be a little tired and emotional Lewis but please don't ruin this special relationship.

@Horner Mike Coughlan didn't seem to think so. He was all about inter-team sharing. Drove me to the bloody drink.

@fernando Actually Jarno's wine is not too bad, I went through two bottles for breakfast last week.

@CoalInCoals I think they're just biased towards anyone who doesn't embarrass the sport, Colin.